Why Surrogacy??

"You are an incredibly kind person to be doing something like this."

That is phrase I hear often when sharing my plans of becoming a surrogate. But becoming a surrogate is not something to be taken lightly, and requires much more than just being kind, it isn't an impulse decision or something to be done on a whim. It is an incredibly extensive process that you should thoroughly research prior to deciding to take on.

What does becoming a surrogate mean to me....

It is something I have felt passionate about for a very long time. I believe in my heart it is my calling, my purpose. Pregnancy was something that I enjoyed so much. I was truly blessed with an easy conception, pregnancy and birth. After my divorce and realizing having another baby wasn't something in my near future or potentially in the future for me at all, I knew pregnancy was something I wanted to experience again. I enjoyed it so much it made me sad thinking I would never feel tiny kicks again. I would research being a surrogate for a while and then it would kind of fade, but I always circled back to the thought. Working in the NICU I have had the opportunity to take care of babies born to parents through surrogacy. Hearing their stories and seeing what they went through to have families of their own really tugged at my heart strings. I knew this was something I had to seriously consider. My research started again but this time with more intention.

Finding the right Agency

I feel this part is so important. The agency you are working with can make all of the difference in the world in how your journey and experience goes. When you do a google search there are so many different agencies out there. I had a bad experience with a few before I found the one I am currently working with. My advisor is a godsend, she has truly been my right hand. My boyfriend laughs at me because I described talking to her as feeling like a warm hug. But it's true she has this awesome southern accent that is so soothing on top of just being so kindhearted and just sweet. Having someone you can trust and who knows this process, someone to in a sense hold your hand through it has been vital. So make sure you do your research and know what questions to ask, if you don't like the way they are answering them...follow your gut and look elsewhere.

Patience is truly a virtue

“It's a lot of hurry up and wait.”

It has been a very lengthy process so far. First I had to undergo a lot of screenings from medical history, obstetrical history, blood work and other labs, mental health screenings and psych evals, meeting with maternal fetal medicine and the fertility specialist. Once we got through all of that I had to head to Santa Monica, California to the clinic for a water sonogram and in person physical in order to get full medical clearance. When we got the green light medically I was able to then be matched. This process is interesting to me, almost like a dating site. I had to create a profile and the experts behind the scenes at the agency would present it to intended parents they felt were a good fit for what I wanted out of this experience. If the parents liked me we got to meet via a zoom call. I had a couple lined up initially and was excited. They ended up falling through, which was disappointing but I truly believe everything happens for a reason. Because the woman I am matched with now is truly perfect for me. She is a single lady and she lives in Spain. Our personalities are so similar she had this incredible vibe about her the very first time we got to video chat. My daughter has since got to meet her and she has totally embraced her in a way I could have only dreamt of. She even calls Avery the "little boss lady" and has given her the job of helping to name the baby. My heart is just over flowing with excitement. Legal documents and paperwork was next on the agenda and took what felt like forever. Her attorney drew it all up, then me and my attorney reviewed it. Back and forth a few times until all the details were right and we signed and then it became official.

Bring on the meds.....

We still have such a long way to go but already this journey has been incredible and I am so blessed to have so many people in my life to support this decision and ready to step in and help along the way. I can't wait to share it all with you.